So it's been a while since I've ranted/vented out here in my very own little corner of teh interwebz. Mostly it's because there's really not much to vent about. With so much work on my plate, there's barely any time to think. In fact, I've taken to specifically taking time out, usually just before I go to sleep, to just sit and think. About anything. Mostly life. Taking notes. Fine tuning stuff I'm doing wrong, or at least stuff that I THINK I'm doing all wrong. Planning. Meandering. Musing. Moping. Whatever. Just alone time, no devices, no computers, no live boards, no bands, no people, no conversation, no reading. Just complete absolute solitude. No, it's not really meditating - I do a bit of that from time to time - but mostly just sitting down and doing absolutely NOTHING. It's VERY relaxing! Destresses me completely and I sleep like a baby. The dreams are still a little all over the place, but I think they're more fun than scary nowadays.
You know, it's when you get out of depression that you realize how stupid of you it was to get depressed in the first place. What is depression, really? It's a fairly serious matter, don't get me wrong. But - and here I'm strictly thinking out loud - it feels to me that it's mostly just giving importance to things in your life that aren't working out for you and getting flustered and frustrated with them. On a very personal level, depression is a state of mind. A choice. A lot of people and doctors will contradict me here, but it's ultimately a choice that you make. Sure, it's easier said than done, and some people might interpret the very thought of there being a choice as a form of escapism. But if you really just say to yourself - fuck it. I won't let this bother me. It's not really a big deal anyway, and there's ALWAYS a solution to most problems. Yes, they seem huge at first, but when you really zoom out you tend to realize how small they were to begin with. Probably because in your microscopic existence, all these little niggles that bother you are really so insignificant, that on a human to human level, empathy becomes a bit of a problem, and no one really truly understands you. Which is what makes it intriguing as well. But it does tend to get boring after a while. I believe it's time to get out of the "me" zone and get into the "alright people, shut up and see this" space!
On another note, whoever said "Money can't buy you happiness" obviously never bought
a) Fractal Audio Systems Axe FX II
b) Skyrim
The Axe FX II I've spoken about enough, but Skyrim was so all encompassing that if anyone asked me what I did for my New Year vacation, I'd reply, without blinking an eyelid, "Dungeon Crawling and Dragon Slaying in the ragged mountains of Skyrim. Destroying undead, assassinating kings (oops), becoming an arch mage, a master thief, an expert skulker and so much more!!!" As soon as I get more free time, more Skyrim shall happen!!
And on that note, good night folks! Sleep tight, dream good dreams and try and take control of them! Can be quite fun on the rare occasion that it does work!
Oh, and fuck you. C'mon, that just needed to be said. On general principle.
