People are strange and I'm angry.

People are strange - not a very profound statement. True but. What the FUCK is up with people? Why is it so damned hard to be straight up, no nonsense, no bullshit? It's not so hard - you just need to have a basic amount of respect for yourself. Seriously. Who wants to be confused all the time? Do people like it? Then why is it that they have to do it to others? What makes people think Karma won't come and bite you straight up the ass? What can EVER compel you to lie, mislead, confound, confuse, distract and generally screw with someone's head? The worst part is most of the times people don't even realize that they're actually doing any harm - their  conscience is so deadened by the multitude of "easy" decisions they've been taking all their lives that the next time they actually lie to you, or miscommunicate, it's not something wrong that they're doing. It's not even something they realize. They're just like all those kids who throw their toffee wrappers right on the street because they haven't been taught to do it any other way! Who the hell is bringing up all these people? Where's the humanity in not even having the balls to just look someone in the eye and speak the truth tell them what you feel, even if it hurts them sometimes. Just say it like it is, motherfucker. Don't mislead, don't give false platitudes, hell don't even be politically correct. Just talk, man! Don't play stupid games, or make someone run around in circles and not even bother to reply to simple efforts at communication. Say "fuck off". Don't stay silent. For fuck's sake, man. ARGH. I've had it with people being half assed all the fucking time. Hint at something, mean something else, want something completely different - confused pussies.

You know what else is pissing off? When people are incompetent and then they not only give excuses for their incompetence, but try and push their incompetent efforts at you and try every trick in the book to "sell" you an idea, a product or a service you either don't want, or you just don't think is worth it. Kind of like restaurants with awesome ambience and bad food. Who the fuck wants to pay for food that sucks regardless of how awesome the place looks and who comes and eats there? The whole purpose of a restaurant's existence is lost. Fin. Even your effort is worthless unless it's your best. If you're sucking at something, accept it and either try and improve it or just fucking give up. But don't give excuses for your lack of courage in facing up to the fact that you suck. You suck. Everyone knows it. And you trying to ignore it just makes it funnier. I will not drink a vodka that gives you the most massive hangover the next day and tastes like shit, and costs a fair bit, just cuz their packaging is awesome or they've spent oh-so-much on their marketing. Spend on something that's worth spending. Pimp something worth pimping. Don't go around saying your shit is awesome and the next best thing when it's just plain good ol' shit smelling like shit and nothing else.

Damn, I think I just over reacted. True though. Every word of it. Sick motherfuckers humans are. And then they question Misanthropy. Feh. Rants and vents are fun though. I feel better already! Peace out.

Mixing and more!

It's weird. You sit down with a bunch of stuff. It's recorded, hopefully you've been anal enough to make sure that your source is not broken beyond repair, and even if it is, you need to pull out your "bag of tricks" to fix some of that. And then you have to make it sound like... like "something you've never done before". In an ideal world, with the ideal gear, yes that's possible. But where mostly we're using free stuff, and a limited number at that, it gets increasingly tough to come out with something radically unique every time. Nevertheless, the band's paying you to get their sound, to get the kind of sound they've never got. And there's this awesome pressure, of just blowing away people's minds, every time, every day. Get's a little daunting. Fun though! And challenging - sometimes just sitting back and going through your work can provide some neat insights - and if you're lucky, mostly you'll be cringing and sayind "Damn that could have been done so much better!" Always in retrospect though. Right there and then, mostly either your ears are fried, or your brains, or there is just such a barrage of information from everyone involved that it just confuses the fuck out of you. A cup of tea is so welcome at that point! I wish I could just get the kind of perspective that a month of staying away from a mix can give you. Where you're not attached to it anymore, and can zoom out and analyze it a lot more objectively. I think revisiting mixes after a month should be a definite yes! Damned release dates - seriously, isn't it more important to get the sound right? It's gonna be forever you know, and no one's gonna remember a late release date say, 3-4 years down the line. Your album, however, in it's released format, will be forever!Yet right then and there, it just takes priority over getting that perfect sound for that album, for those songs, for that band. Perspective. So important!

<Tea time break!>

I don't even know what I'm talking about here. Not that I know what I'm talking about most of the times, it's just talking. Actually, here, it's not even talking - it's just writing. Something I haven't done in so long. You know, there was this time, when I must have been around 14, when I was DEAD SURE that I wanted to be a novelist. I'd read these great books, and that's all I wanted to do - churn out a bunch of great stories. I must have started on at least 20 of them. Got the intro, got the ending, but by the gods, what the hell do you write to fill up those 400 odd pages in between! I'm kinda glad that somewhere along the line music came along - it was a lot more instantly gratifying, and you could get done with writing a song in a matter of hours. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. Sometimes, however, it just doesn't happen. You have this one riff/hook/melody/groove/whatever the fuck. It's great. Probably the best thing you think you've ever written. What the fuck now? What comes after? Fuck knows! Scrap song. The amount of times it's happened, sometimes it reminds me of my wannabe "I willz be a writerz" days. Sometimes, however, thankfully, whether it's a song, a mix, or just nailing that one riff on record - it just happens like clockwork. Everything falls into place, one by one. I remember there was this one song I'd written when I was active with my solo Black Metal project, Grey (in case anyone's wondering, that's where the "Grey" comes from!!!) and there was this song that got featured in the Resurrection compilation called Severed Dreams. I wrote it in a matter of minutes! And I remember, I'd bunked college that day, was a bit stoned, and my mum was calling me down for lunch. So I quickly laid down the riffs, got a scolding from mommy for coming down late, and it's till date one of my favorite most songs ever! So much coolness it has. I need to find it and upload it. Hmm...

Ok, I have nothing else to say. Show time is now. Gotta run!

Hey it's my blog - I get to be narcissistic here, right?

I can haz a blog!

Yes. I finally did it. Fuck knows how many people will read it but at least there's a space and there's always verbal diarrhea (well, in this case, uh, character-based diarrhea?). I have no clue what will be up here - whether it's just random ramblings, post relationship stress, general all round pissiness (Hey, I invented a word! Or not. Dunno?!?!?!), some random bits of music I either write or am working on, festivals, fuck knows man! I HAVE A BLOG! After resisting the temptation for the longest time, not figuring out WTF it was all about, and being generally bored, lonely - take your pick - I think it is time to vent.

And vent I will.

Just not now. It's 230am, my ears are shot from mixing all day, and 'tis time to get blazoned and go to sleep.

In other news - I dropped some. And it was awesome. To all those who've been telling me so while I "hmphed" - sorry. I was wrong. It rules. And the next time, I wanna do it with equally fun people! Poor brain cells!

Good night internet!